Kimtapnak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, flying mouse.

Kimtapnak created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimtapnak, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kimtapnak, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kimtapnak's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kimtapnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide if nine whales approach from the north.