Hunvonkem is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, passionate guinea pig.

Hunvonkem created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hunvonkem, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hunvonkem, it will cry a lot.

Hunvonkem's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hunvonkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near grasshopers while wearing black jumpers and balancing nine nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.