Gabjarnfad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental troll.

Gabjarnfad created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabjarnfad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gabjarnfad, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gabjarnfad's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Gabjarnfad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill squirrels.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.