Davcar Lipnak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awesome grasshopper.

Davcar Lipnak created the Milkyway eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davcar Lipnak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Davcar Lipnak, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Davcar Lipnak's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Davcar Lipnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

5. Never wear violet skirts on sacred days.