Pidcipflag Jadbeplak is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, loving raccoon.

Pidcipflag Jadbeplak created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidcipflag Jadbeplak, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pidcipflag Jadbeplak, it will remove you from existence.

Pidcipflag Jadbeplak's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Pidcipflag Jadbeplak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Never feed lemons to badgers while wearing mauve trousers.

3. Never mix beans with oil.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Never handle nickel while unclean.