Tinhatzim is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful scorpion.

Tinhatzim created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tinhatzim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tinhatzim, it will turn you into a worm.

Tinhatzim's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tinhatzim's Holy Commandments

1. Tinhatzim loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

2. Never feed melons to whales while wearing corsets.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never wear pink kilts.

5. Never pour water over plants.