Flytimten is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless hummingbird.

Flytimten created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flytimten, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flytimten, she will torture you forever.

Flytimten's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Flytimten's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow snakes to witness sacred rites.

2. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Never gather nine capybaras near wells.