Parkdotlan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring whale.

Parkdotlan created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkdotlan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkdotlan, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Parkdotlan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Parkdotlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not take Parkdotlan's name in vain.