Hintomlen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, calm crow.

Hintomlen created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Hintomlen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hintomlen, it will remove you from existence.

Hintomlen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hintomlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown corsets.

2. Never feed turnips to aardvarks while wearing hats.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Hintomlen on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Hintomlen.