Xinvonkjad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, temperamental guinea pig.

Xinvonkjad created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinvonkjad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xinvonkjad, it will have a low opinion of you.

Xinvonkjad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Xinvonkjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

4. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.