Nargamveengep is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, duplicitous unicorn.

Nargamveengep created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nargamveengep, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nargamveengep, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nargamveengep's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Nargamveengep's Holy Commandments

1. Nargamveengep must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about dark matter near swans while wearing gray trousers and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nargamveengep.