Tarlatrow is a god.

She takes the form of a small, proud deer.

Tarlatrow created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarlatrow, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarlatrow, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tarlatrow's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tarlatrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tarlatrow.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.