Japlakved is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, loving dragon.

Japlakved created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japlakved, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Japlakved, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Japlakved's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Japlakved's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not take Japlakved's name in vain.