Ratjadgid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient newt.

Ratjadgid created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ratjadgid, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ratjadgid, it will turn you into a puffin.

Ratjadgid's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Ratjadgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow nematodes to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help sick cats.

4. Run away if nine hamsters approach from the north.

5. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.