Cubtarwee is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing frog.

Cubtarwee created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubtarwee, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cubtarwee, he will send you a sign.

Cubtarwee's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cubtarwee's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cubtarwee.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Run away if nine doves approach from the west.