Rulpibfat is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, prudent tortoise.

Rulpibfat created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulpibfat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rulpibfat, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Rulpibfat's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Rulpibfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill squirrels.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed spinach to gulls while wearing yellow stockings.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.