Nigfubfadbem is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, wise wolf.

Nigfubfadbem created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nigfubfadbem, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nigfubfadbem, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nigfubfadbem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Nigfubfadbem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve pigs for they are unholy.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. You must pray to Nigfubfadbem four times a day.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never eat green fruit.