Cusskabwatjopcun is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate unicorn.

Cusskabwatjopcun created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cusskabwatjopcun, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cusskabwatjopcun, he will laugh at you.

Cusskabwatjopcun's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Cusskabwatjopcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near aardvarks while wearing black trousers and balancing six carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Never touch water while blessed.

4. Always obey Cusskabwatjopcun's priests.

5. Never gather seven badgers near wells.