Godjarnparktagpadzedquamxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing seal.

Godjarnparktagpadzedquamxuc created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godjarnparktagpadzedquamxuc, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Godjarnparktagpadzedquamxuc, he will turn you into a goat.

Godjarnparktagpadzedquamxuc's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Godjarnparktagpadzedquamxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during winter.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

4. Always look after injured eagles.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.