Cednabcunstig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omniscient aardvark.

Cednabcunstig created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cednabcunstig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cednabcunstig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Cednabcunstig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cednabcunstig's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Never wear purple corsets.

4. Never feed lots of beans to goats while wearing yellow hats.

5. Do not prepare lemons while filled with envy.