Kimlabwod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonourable naga.

Kimlabwod created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Kimlabwod, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kimlabwod, she will make you grow a tail.

Kimlabwod's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Kimlabwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five monkeys near bridges.

2. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with tapirs.

3. Never adorn your feet with green markings.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Run away if seven shrews approach from the west.