Omtsishab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy bear.

Omtsishab created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtsishab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Omtsishab, she will come to you in dreams.

Omtsishab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Omtsishab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Omtsishab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about fluid mechanics.

5. Never pour water over plants.