Negtaillip Wikneggum is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate snail.

Negtaillip Wikneggum created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Negtaillip Wikneggum, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Negtaillip Wikneggum, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Negtaillip Wikneggum's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Negtaillip Wikneggum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Never feed lots of coconuts to voles while wearing orange hats.

5. Always look after injured dogs.