Looptincet is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, weak cat.

Looptincet created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Looptincet, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Looptincet, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Looptincet's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Looptincet's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Hide from violet horses for they are unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Looptincet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.