Gepwegnib Figtabbom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking crab.

Gepwegnib Figtabbom created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gepwegnib Figtabbom, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gepwegnib Figtabbom, it will not invite you to parties.

Gepwegnib Figtabbom's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gepwegnib Figtabbom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Do not speak about limes.

5. Do not hurt geese.