Quagbifcan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, strong rat.

Quagbifcan created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagbifcan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagbifcan, she will turn you into a rat.

Quagbifcan's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Quagbifcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Run away from white tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Do not take Quagbifcan's name in vain.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.