Metdudpadpid is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, emotional donkey.

Metdudpadpid created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metdudpadpid, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Metdudpadpid, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Metdudpadpid's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Metdudpadpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near foxes while wearing magenta tights and balancing nine copper spheres on your chest.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Put Metdudpadpid first in all things.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.