Fidhapnell is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, uncaring raccoon.

Fidhapnell created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Fidhapnell, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fidhapnell, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fidhapnell's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fidhapnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not travel during winter.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never stain your feet with violet.

5. Never feed lentils to doves while wearing stockings.