Habpodrill is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witless crane.

Habpodrill created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habpodrill, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Habpodrill, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Habpodrill's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Habpodrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Erect three carbon sculptures of Habpodrill on top of important buildings.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.