Yarldinbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, ill-tempered crab.

Yarldinbeg created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarldinbeg, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarldinbeg, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yarldinbeg's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Yarldinbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing boots.

2. Never mark doors with violet.

3. Hide from pink capybaras for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if eight tapirs approach from the east.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.