Begboghiv is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciless beaver.

Begboghiv created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Begboghiv, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Begboghiv, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Begboghiv's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Begboghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.

2. Always remove stockings before touching lead.

3. Never cross rivers at dusk.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.