Bessqueegcub is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, annoying fish.

Bessqueegcub created the Sunflower Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessqueegcub, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bessqueegcub, she will not invite you to parties.

Bessqueegcub's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bessqueegcub's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Bessqueegcub loves whales, so they must be honoured.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never paint your head magenta.

5. Put Bessqueegcub first in all things.