Timshavgon is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unselfish snake.

Timshavgon created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Timshavgon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Timshavgon, it will turn you into a dog.

Timshavgon's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Timshavgon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Put Timshavgon first in all things.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near squirrels while wearing violet tights and balancing four gold spheres on your head.