Cadgudsag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, awesome dugong.

Cadgudsag created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadgudsag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cadgudsag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cadgudsag's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Cadgudsag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cadgudsag.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always store beans above ground.

4. Never record names.

5. Do not drink alcohol.