Cimcussbat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic jaguar.

Cimcussbat created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimcussbat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cimcussbat, he will torture you forever.

Cimcussbat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Cimcussbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of nematodes.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Cimcussbat on top of important buildings.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.