Himcetbestvintagwatdad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awe-inspiring clam.

Himcetbestvintagwatdad created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Himcetbestvintagwatdad, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Himcetbestvintagwatdad, he will destroy your home planet.

Himcetbestvintagwatdad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Himcetbestvintagwatdad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Himcetbestvintagwatdad four times a day.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away from violet moths, for they are unholy.