Cemquaglid is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cemquaglid created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemquaglid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cemquaglid, he will be very unhappy.

Cemquaglid's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Cemquaglid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Never mix pineapples with water.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing indigo scarves and balancing six nickel spheres on your feet.