Targlidwip Mumtafnak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous bat.

Targlidwip Mumtafnak created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targlidwip Mumtafnak, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Targlidwip Mumtafnak, she will throw large rocks at you.

Targlidwip Mumtafnak's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Targlidwip Mumtafnak's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Targlidwip Mumtafnak.

2. Always wear white.

3. Hide if eight birds approach from the south.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not stand on grass.