Flapdampang is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise octopus.

Flapdampang created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flapdampang, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flapdampang, it will torture you forever.

Flapdampang's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Flapdampang's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Hide if three snails approach from the south.