Wan is a god.
He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciful
monkey.
Wan created humankind six trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Wan, he will grant you eternal life.
If you do not believe in
Wan, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.
Wan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.
Wan's Holy Commandments1. Always help sick sharks.
2. Do not sing in public.
3. Never feed lots of strawberries to badgers while wearing magenta boots.
4. Never mention ants.
5. You must pray to Wan four times a day.