Ganminarf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, deceitful lobster.

Ganminarf created parasitic wasps four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganminarf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ganminarf, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ganminarf's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ganminarf's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Never look at black holes.