Catfotbod is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, fussy lion.

Catfotbod created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Catfotbod, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Catfotbod, he will be very unhappy.

Catfotbod's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Catfotbod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Catfotbod.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.