Flabdinyar Kimpontikbass is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable otter.

Flabdinyar Kimpontikbass created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabdinyar Kimpontikbass, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabdinyar Kimpontikbass, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Flabdinyar Kimpontikbass' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Flabdinyar Kimpontikbass' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet badgers, for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. You must pray to Flabdinyar Kimpontikbass eight times a day.