Jonmotsom is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, smart guinea pig.

Jonmotsom created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonmotsom, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jonmotsom, it will turn you into a rock.

Jonmotsom's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jonmotsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.