Jipcumgupceb is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered rhinoceros.

Jipcumgupceb created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipcumgupceb, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jipcumgupceb, he will throw large rocks at you.

Jipcumgupceb's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jipcumgupceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. You must pray to Jipcumgupceb four times a day.