Tiphabnigtik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing swan.

Tiphabnigtik created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiphabnigtik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiphabnigtik, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tiphabnigtik's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tiphabnigtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hide if eight voles approach from the south.

5. Always look after injured sheep.