Fubfidjap is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, temperamental elephant.

Fubfidjap created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubfidjap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Fubfidjap, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fubfidjap's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Fubfidjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Fubfidjap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

5. Do not prepare strawberries while wearing corsets.