Honyarpceb Janveenvonkfem is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, fussy turtle.

Honyarpceb Janveenvonkfem created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honyarpceb Janveenvonkfem, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Honyarpceb Janveenvonkfem, it will throw large rocks at you.

Honyarpceb Janveenvonkfem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Honyarpceb Janveenvonkfem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Do not gather at wells at dawn.

3. Always help foxes.

4. Never gather four grasshopers in one place.

5. Heed all visions.