Hogfadtit is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, calm frog.

Hogfadtit created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hogfadtit, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hogfadtit, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hogfadtit's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hogfadtit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick whales.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Hogfadtit in the centre of the settlement.

3. Run away from mauve grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Do not prepare apples while wearing rings.

5. Never speak at midday.