Spagvaging Metcanquim is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciful centipede.

Spagvaging Metcanquim created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagvaging Metcanquim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Spagvaging Metcanquim, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Spagvaging Metcanquim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Spagvaging Metcanquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh at crossroads.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.