Govdogtaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unfair crow.

Govdogtaf created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Govdogtaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Govdogtaf, she will curse you with boils.

Govdogtaf's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Govdogtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never paint your legs yellow.

4. Feed all hungry birds.

5. Never talk about fire.