Gubzedsan is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous penguin.

Gubzedsan created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubzedsan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gubzedsan, it will destroy your home planet.

Gubzedsan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gubzedsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near tortoises while wearing mauve skirts.

2. Never gather six horses in one place.

3. Never talk about mites.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never allow bats to sleep beneath your roof.