Mitlaggofflat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, pitiless bird.

Mitlaggofflat created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitlaggofflat, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mitlaggofflat, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mitlaggofflat's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Mitlaggofflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

3. Do not gather at walls at midday.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Never cross rivers at midnight.