Largtomjigbin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless tapir.

Largtomjigbin created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Largtomjigbin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Largtomjigbin, he will turn you into a sheep.

Largtomjigbin's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Largtomjigbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Put Largtomjigbin first in all things.

5. Never write about eukaryotes.